Friday, April 15, 2011

A little Vent...

Okay, so I apologize to those of you who will read this but I just really feel the need to vent right now.

Let me start by saying that it is a daily process to keep myself focused on what is really important in life. My husband and I do make sacrifices so that I can stay at home with our children although with that said we really have not had to sacrifice that much. Sure I can't just go off and spend money on frivolous things whenever I want but I definitely am not suffering in any way. I have plenty of food in my pantry, I have a beautiful house with a large yard, and a nice reliable vehicle. There is no need for me to not be satisfied with what surrounds me yet at times I feel myself longing for the things that others around me have….granite countertops, new, beautiful furniture, a luxury car (which is not a minivan). I do not want to be envious but I find it a personal struggle to truly appreciate and be content with what is in front of me instead of longing for things that are out of my reach.

With that said, I find it a daily struggle to not get caught up with things I read online or most importantly on Facebook. I am tired of hearing people go on about things that have been given to them or they have acquired with no appreciation of what they have or with what other people don't have. The person who finds it appalling that anyone might ever consider buying a minivan but refuses to accept the fact that her car is at least $10,000 more than a minivan. Why not acknowledge how fortunate they are to not have to sacrifice what is important to them. I really wish some people would take a moment to truly appreciate what they have and not feel the need to defend what they have by saying that they "deserve" it. Doesn't everyone deserve to have the things they like. What makes one person more deserving than another.  Everyone deserves good food on the table and a comfortable house to live in. Don't we all deserve safety and security. I think we are all guilty for forgetting at times those gifts we have that make our lives complete.

I do not want to be unappreciative of the fact that there are people out there who struggle in other ways. Maybe some people fixate on "things" to fill a void in their lives, an unhappy marriage, poor health, unsatisfied working life. I don't know. And then there are those who have suffered true adversity in their lives, the loss of a child, the loss of a spouse, terminal illness, natural disaster, etc. Shouldn't those of us who are so fortunate to have never experienced such grief and loss be even more appreciative of what we have.

I think I may have gotten off on a tangent but the frustration is the same. I am tired of people using social networking to ultimately make others feel bad about what they don't have or that what they have still isn't good enough. Why can't we just be….be appreciative, be respectful, be open-minded. Why can't I just be content? I admit I am considering closing my Facebook account. I feel that doing so will mean I have failed to be stronger, to be content and accepting. But do I need the daily reminders of what I am supposedly doing "wrong" or that what I have isn't desirable or "good enough". I don't know. I guess this will also be a part of my daily struggle to decide what is best for my spirit and my soul…...


  1. I've been thinking about your post for a couple of days. I still don't know know quite what to say, but I at least wanted to let you know that someone Heard. I completely relate to what you're going through. Giving up one salary is a huge sacrifice -- and I am sure that you are just as grateful for that opportunity to be home as I am. But I agree so is sooo hard to let go of this...wanting. everyone else seems to have newer and nicer things; we just want to be able to put food on the table. And yet, there are many who can't even do that. It is such a struggle for me too, and I haven't quite reconciled myself with it. I know I shouldn't covet, I know I should be content. My kids are all healthy and happy. My family is loving and supportive. What does it matter that none of my dining chairs match - or that they don't match the table, or the cupboards, or the floor (crazy kitchen, eh!). My God is good and He supplies all my I don't know what it is within us that is always wanting more.
    You know, I don't see my DH struggling with this though. He seems content with all mismatched chairs - as long as dinner is on the table. He doesn't care what color the bedroom wall is painted (ugh, yucky green).. as long as there's a bed, he doesn't care. Okay, so he would like a brand new car...but he's a guy: they dig cars. Maybe they have figured out something we haven't???

  2. I am glad you read this and it was meaningful to you….This is all a daily struggle for me…and yet like your husband, mine doesn't care about the things I do either…he is also completely content with all the things we do have and all the things we don't….
    So I am going to continue to work on my inner being so that I become more content with life in general….
    I think if we ignored these things about ourselves we wouldn't be true to our spirit…keeping it all in check will allow us to become the best that we can be…..
    Thanks Rory!

  3. Oh my goodness, your post spoke to me like you were in my head.

    I have contemplated closing my Facebook account on a number of occasions because of a few people who go on and on about the stuff they buy, the fantastic trips they go on, the weekly flowers, jewelery and gifts from their husbands, or the "friend" who boasts that a week after the delivery of her 9 pound baby she's back to her pre-pregnancy weight and she has no stretch marks either! It becomes a little much and I struggle to be of solid character and not get overwhelmed by the barrage of "my life is better than yours" messages.

    I am the bread-earner in my home. My husband and I have sacrificed so much to provide our child with 24 hour care from a parent. Our cars are reliable, most of our furniture is second-hand, we meal-plan, we rarely go "out", shopping for anything but food is a luxury, we will probably never own a home bigger than the three bedroom townhouse we currently own and frugality is a way of life for us.

    BUT, we're happy. Our daughter is happy. We spend quality time together and we focus on love and experiencing life with one another.

    Thanks for inspiring me to think about this.


  4. Thanks Jennifer!
    I am glad this was meaningful to you too….I try not to get caught up in the things I read but I also find it hard to. I feel more and more that it is not just a waste of the little spare time that I have but it is also damaging to the psyche.
    With that said, I do think there are a lot of positive things that have come out of social media but they have also become a forum to push personal views and at times (maybe without meaning to) to make people feel bad.
    I have made a commitment to keep my postings light and humorous and not use Facebook as an instrument to push an agenda or alienate those around me.
    I think we should all take this pledge!

  5. I am probaly guilty of spending too much, but I am trying to work really hard to stop myself. I have a lot of debt that we need to pay off and then there is the possibility that I will be able to stay home. I really hope that I can do this fairly soon. My SIL is the first one to go on and on about what she has, where she is going, what she is doing for their kids and it drives me INSANE. She also goes on and on about all of the things that people have given her. OMG, I try so hard to not be jealous, but it is almost impossible. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of money that other family members have spent on her, the days they have taken off to help her with whatever she needs, etc. That is probably my biggest problem. I continue to ask God to help me deal with my jealousy, but it is hard. So know that you aren't alone.